Rules for Doing Grammar Good
(Retrieved via email)
1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat)
6.
Also,
always avoid annoying alliteration.
7.
Be more
or less specific.
8.
Parenthetical
remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9.
Also too,
never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10.
No
sentence fragments.
11.
Contractions
aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.
12.
Foreign
words and phrases are not apropos.
13.
Do not be
redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
14.
One
should NEVER generalize.
15.
Comparisons
are as bad as cliches.
16.
Eschew
ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
17.
One-word
sentences? Eliminate.
18.
Analogies
in writing are like feathers on a snake.
19.
The
passive voice is to be ignored.
20.
Eliminate
commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed
in commas.
21.
Never use
a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
22.
Use words
correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
23.
Understatement
is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.
24.
Eliminate
quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what
you know."
25.
If you've
heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one
writer in a million can use it correctly.
26.
Puns are
for children, not groan readers.
27.
Go around
the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
28.
Even IF a
mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
29.
Who needs
rhetorical questions?
30.
Exaggeration
is a billion times worse than understatement.
31.
And the
last one...Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.